Relationship Over Rules

In my home we have rules. We have boundaries. We have routines and schedules. But on the list of what’s important in our hearts, they don’t even make the cut.

Relationship is number one. And you’ll have to go a good 100 feet down before you find anything else on that list 🙂 At the end of the day, I don’t care that my child did exactly as I told her. I’m not obsessing over the possible failures or mistakes of my daughters and husband. I care about connecting to their hearts. I care about Love.

In the Old Testament, God gave us the Law, the 10 commandments. Basically an impossible list of things to do or not to do. Then Jesus came in the New Testament and gave us relationship, grace, love. Jesus even said the greatest commandment was to love God and love each other. I figure if it’s that important to God, it should be that important to me.


I think the first time I realized just how important relationship was to God and how amazing it could truly be, was holding my baby girl after she was born. I felt such love for her and such love from her. We were made for each other. Every baby craves relationship – it’s their greatest need. They desire to be held, touched, loved. God even went as far as to make the body of the mother the source of nutrition so that the child and mother are connected. We are created out of relationship (between a man and woman) and created for relationship.

So what does this look like practically in my home? It looks like dishes being left on the counter and in the sink so I can go lay on the floor and color with my 2 year old and do raspberries with my 3 month old. Like bedtimes being pushed back so we can stay up as a family and watch a movie and eat homemade popcorn. It looks like taking my child aside and having a heart to heart when she’s not interested in cleaning toys instead of jumping to a punishment. It looks like putting off my chore list, like my husband setting work aside, so we can connect in our marriage. Family Dinners with the TV off. Going for walks. Leaving phones aside and actually looking one another in the eye and truly enjoying that moment. It looks like a lot of Grace – a lot. And it’s absolutely worth it.

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